Unsorted Feelings

I vowed to avoid using the word I but then, this is a blog. This is an outlet of whatever feelings I have pent up inside me. This is where I can open up and say whatever I want to say so perhaps it’s just fitting to use it, maybe not as often as I would like it to be but visible in such a way that I can own to what I say.

I have always been that girl who’s always been admiring people. I am that girl who always had a crush, back to my kindergarten days. When I was in elementary, I always want my crush to notice me, to see me, to talk to me. In high school, I was that girl who will do anything just to see her crush, who will blush whenever he is around, who would get angry when somebody gets a crush on her crush. In college, I was that girl who admires from afar. And when I graduated, I was that girl who posts nonstop about people she adores on Facebook.

What I’m trying to say is that I admire a lot of people. It’s not a new thing. In fact, it’s that sort of thing that has been part of what I am normally, usually. But recently, I admire someone. It’s not a bad thing if you don’t feel like it’s a bad thing but I felt like I do and it scares me so much or maybe I’m just overreacting. (Don’t worry, that person is not into drugs or anything that involves crime.)

I have been thinking about this person for quite some time. This person has demonstrated attributes to which I actually got attracted to and perhaps has that character that I have wanted for myself too for quite a long time already.

This person knows what to prioritize and how to prioritize. Not only that, that person strives to actually put into actions those priorities.

And while I’m doing this I find it hard to actually write a sentence without saying any pronoun to go with it. It becomes too formal that I can’t help but just label this person.

She knows a lot of things and that’s one thing I really like about her. She can talk about anything in the world. You can tell her about anything and she either listens to you or provides you input or she says something you haven’t known yet. With her, you can never get bored. You might have some silent moments but it is those times when talking becomes tiring and causes sore throat already.

She is capable of so many things that I can actually say she is talented. When she lacks the capability of doing what she wants to do, she studies about it and carefully learns the craft. She is so resourceful and thinks out of the box.

She has always been sure of herself. She’s confident. She knows what she wants in life. Her goals are very clear and that her actions really lead her to what she always wants to do.

She might not have too much patience stored in her system but she always sees to it that she will show you that you are supported in whatever things you are passionate about. She always has that inclination to lend a hand to others and a heart that will always want to give and share to the less fortunate.

Lastly, I believe that this girl is phenomenal and that she would achieve her goals in life. She does not want that only her dreams are realized but that she also loves to see other people’s dreams come true. It fascinates her when people pursue their passion and does not give up on realizing their dreams as well.



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