Recollections

This is quite weird because this is something I should have written before the year ends but I think its just fitting I write it today.  I mean,  what better way to start the year than to reflect on what you have accomplished the previous year and start composing your targets for the year to come,  right?  🙂 So anyway,  I keep on thinking how I have generalized my 2017 as a year of emotional instabilities.  Probably just the jitters of midlife crisis.  But it has been, and yet more than those instabilities was a year of unlocked achievements.  I got too emotional, my feelings blinding my memory because I fail to see the great things I’ve accomplished  this year and failed God to acknowledge it and by writing this,  even though its too late,  I know He understands me.  So anyway,  yeah.  Accomplishments.  I realized I should be really thankful for a lot of things.  First,  I finally have an MBA Degree. It wasn’t easy and if not for my mom I wouldn’t have succeeded. Second, I passed the A2 and B1 exam for the German Language thus earning lots of privileges. Third, I got transferred to another ream with a totally different process and although there were lot of skeptics and criticisms,  I was very grateful for the opportunity. There are a lot more little accomplishments but that would take a me a lot of pages that you won’t  probably have time to read it so I’ll just skip it anyway.  Hahaha.  I also experienced a lot of good things. I’ve gotten to know a lot of great people.  I knew myself better. With criticisms I have been receiving for the last 365 days,  I got to understand myself more. I’ve learned a lot of lessons.  And so much more. Yes,  it was emotional because I’ve somehow lost someone for a while this year, things have been pretty awkward and that person knows that.  I had some arguments with somebody which rocked the relationship that we have. I “fell in love” with someone and I thought it was real.  (But seriously it was all gone and fine now.  I realize I was just fantasizing and admitting it to someone I respect dearly made me wake up from that madness.) I have made quite a few discoveries which somehow affected the way I saw circumstances and events. I committed a lot of mistakes,  broken promised and betrayed trusts that it ate me up for quite some time too.  All of these led me to a single realization that I am growing up. I am undergoing a phase.  It might have been a little bit late for me.  But I believe all of us have our own timelines.  I remember telling myself something like this.  Its hard to accept that you’re wrong.  But its even harder to accept the facf that you’re somebody who has a difficulty of accepting that they’re wrong. What I’m trying to say is,  it was hard for me to accept that I’m undergoing a phase.  And by undergoing I mean that I had to see the worst part of myself. But I know that now.  I had to go thru all of that in 2017 so I am better equipped for 2018.

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