It’s kinda hard though. Self-love, I mean. They say you have to embrace your flaws, your imperfections, who you are. But what if you are a monster within yourself? What if by being yourself you’re hurting the people around you already? What if.. What if by embracing your imperfections you are limiting yourself to changes that could make you at least better than what you’re used to? And when that happens, you are becoming a toxic to yourself. Your hurting yourself and not just the people around you. You crumble inside, desperate and in despair. You say you cannot control your feelings and that there is no right nor wrong one? I don’t know. I have a hard time accepting the fact. Because embracing feelings as neutral, as neither right nor wrong is accepting that you are entitled to what you feel and I don’t think you should be. You are entitled to a feeling if its justifiable, if it makes sense. But if it doesn’t, you should try to diminish that feeling, even though it is a struggle within yourself. Because in the end, you’re the only one who will be destroyed by it. Flaws, imperfections, irrational feelings, unjustified actions. The world is full of evil and errors. I just hope that the day we will be all glorified and clothed with righteousness is almost near.
Sometimes we truly hate the things that hurt us the most, that makes us suffer emotionally and mentally but they have to happen. It’s not easy and it takes time to truly get a grip on the idea of its importance but once you do, you get to appreciate every little thing that happens in your life. Perhaps, I never got the chance to be in a serious relationship because I, myself was not getting serious with it. It’s as if I have been telling the universe that I still want to play around, that I am afraid of committing to other people, that probably they’d eventually hurt me. And indeed it was what’s happening. Of course for some time it was cool. No strings attached, no responsibilities, no hard decisions. But it gets tiring. Someone once said that at some point in our life we get to love the boring things and dislike the ones that offers invigorating feelings and that of an adrenaline rush. And it all boils down to that fact that I cant totally accept myself for who I am. I hate what I do, how I interact, how I deal with things, people, feelings and situations. Thus, I cant be open totally and fully to other people. I cant be the real me because the I hate the real me right now. And it got me thinking, do I wait for people to accept me for who I am? I cant even accept myself. It is also the same with romantic relationsips that I have longed to have. Do I wait for the man who would change me? And of course, it’s never a hard problem to solve. The answer is too simple. We change who we are, what we have been. We should aim to become what we can be proud of, what we can love. Eventually it becomes the real us. The real me. When I find it, I can be open to others, to be the real me. Because I have achieved the real me that I want. It wouldn’t be hard to be in relationships anymore. And I believe when that time comes, soon, it will be the most beautiful thing in the world.
You should never be afraid of expressing yourself, may it be by opening up to other people or through writing. Writing has, personally, been my outlet of my frustrations, happiness, dreams and hopes, fears. Thru writing, readers experience bliss by being transported into the world of fiction and fantasy. Writing has been my way of expressing my feelings, thoughts, desires, fears, anxieties and too many emotions that have been kept inside and left unexpressed. Thru it, memories, discoveries, observations are recorded, remembered, noted. More than anything, it inspires people, makes them happy, gives them hope. With people writing all over the world, there will always be chances for you to find somebody who would understand you and acknowledge what you’re going through as well as what you actually feel.
People who makes us truly happy but deeply hurt us the most too
1. People who make us feel like we are the most important person in the world
– they are the ones who allows us to do things for them. They are the ones who allows themselves to make us feel that some things are never the same with out us. These are the kind of people who makes us see that we can be someone indispensable, someone who is irreplaceable, someone who is just unique and different and that it feels like we are the only ones who can do it or make them feel some things or some people just can’t.
2. People who make us feel very special; we always have their attention
– they are the people who showers us with so much attention. They always have an ear to lend to us. They always want to know our thoughts. They always ask us what we want, what we need, what we want to become someday. They are always interested in what we have to say and who doesn’t want some kind of attention?
3. People who makes us reach for our dreams, have goals, aspire and become better
– they are the ones who always tell us that we can do it, that even if we ourselves are unsure, they surely believe in us. They push us to do not just what we can do but also those what they believe we can. They never fail to tell us everyday that we ought to do something, that we should keep on fighting, pursuing and dreaming. They are the people who tell us to never give up, to remember our commitments, to never ever feel that we are just limited to something. They want us to just go on and not stop.
4. People who have always believed in us; the ones who supports in what we love doing most, in pushing us to do something to realize what we really want in life
– These are the people who will always have our back, who, even if its only them, will always show us that they are there for us. They never stop inspiring us to be who we want to be.
5. People who gets in their way to reach out to us, to make us feel that we are a part of something, that we should not feel alone because there are people who wants to be with us
– They are the ones who goes out of their way and invite us even though we keep on secluding ourselves from people. They feel like nobody should be left behind, that everyone should have someone with him or her. These are those people who knows that nobody can survive by being alone because that person might just be alone and not lonely, but will be one soon if nobody takes the initiative to reach out to him or her.
I remember the first day I saw him, or rather the first time I saw his face. He looks so athletic, his stance, his posture, the vibe that surrounds him. He caught my attention but I never thought he’d caught my heart as well. Ever since that day I can’t stop thinking about him, talk about him, daydream about him. I will always look forward to every opportunity I will have with him. It’s like those rare precious moments that a few minutes seems like hours. His smile is one that I can’t easily forget. I know he is happy right now and I am happy for him too but I will always miss the sound of his voice, the crinkles in his eyes whenever he laughs, the way he always tell his jokes, the way he cares for other people. It’s fascinating, amazing and inspiring in so many ways I just couldn’t explain. Even though I can only count the times I have been with him, rather talk to him, it’s as if a thousand words is not enough to explain how much I like him. It’s crazy, I know but that’s the truth. Just then, that way he stared at me when I told everything to him, that hug he gave me assuring me that it everything’s fine, when he smiled at me letting me know he understands, those are the things that will be forever embedded in my mind. I know he wouldn’t be mine but I am happy that he found someone who can make him happy, the way how I want him to be happy.
I never have this feeling with any other girl. That is why I don’t know exactly what my feelings are for her. It’s hard for me to put a name on it. That’s probably the reason why I just can’t get over it, over her. Her simple touch makes me shiver. Her stares weaken my knees. A simple gesture from her makes my heart flutter. The way she smoothes her hair with the tip of her fingers, the way she clears her throat resonates through the sounds I can hear on my earphones, the way she shifts in her chair makes me turn my back on her so that she wouldn’t see the expresson in my face that might just give away the feelings I have for her. I can always feel her presence whenever she’s near me, the sound of her voice even from afar even when she has her back on me, her every movement is encrypted in my mind. These are things I only feel for a guy I really like but why do I feel this way towards her? Why only her? I don’t have this kind of emotion with any other girls I’m with. I don’t need to explore because it’s only with her that Ican feel these things. It all started out as feelings of awe and admiration but it turned out to be something else already. No one has given me yet the right answer to this dilemma, nor can I ever ask just anyone about it. I hope someday somebody could tell me what all of this is. I hope that that time comes when I can breathe already and let all of these things go. Because this might be the reason why I just can’t move on.
Most girls get attracted to guys not just by mere physical appearance or physique (although looks sometimes really do matter). Character, nowadays, become a factor for somebody to be attracted to a certain person. So where am I going with this? There are guys who are just too admirable by their nature that for some, it seems natural to them although it gives off a different vibe to other people. But there are others also who knows this for a fact, and use it to their advantage to be surrounded by people and to have the attention they are looking for.
Lately, observations and realizations allowed me to prepare this little notes to ponder as you, girls, encounter guys who are very easy to get along with and makes you feel special, but doesn’t have the intention of pursuing you or establishing a relationship with you for that matter. Listed down are some characteristics of guys who intentionally or unintentionally for some, make girls fall for them.
- Charmer – Most of these guys have lots of sense of humor. They are easy to get along with. They have lots of things to tell you. You can listen to them nonstop. You can’t seem to get your eyes off them. You pay attention to everything they say, to every move they make and to every smile they give.
- Gentleman – These guys do things that are rare these days, doing simple things that other guys never thought of doing simply because either they are too laze or they just don’t care. They are the one who asks you how you’re doing, what you’ve been up to lately. They ask trivial things about you. These are also the guys who pays attention to you when they are actually with you. They put an effort in getting to know you. They like to make you feel that you matter or that somebody has noticed you.
- Urbane- These are the type of guys to whom everything comes easy. It’s not hard for them to make friends, to mingle, to be around people. They are natural charmers. To have conversations are their natural inclinations. Interaction with people becomes their norm.
- Witty – These kind of guys are smart, may not be in books (although most of them are really intelligent) but in life, and a guy who has this kind of intellect becomes very attractive for a girl and girls easily fall for guys who has this character. It seems so easy for them to make quick and smart decisions. They have ideas which may seem common, and probably something we knew too, but one where you never thought of it, until they did.
- Nice Guy – These are the kind of guys who can sweep you off your feet because they seem to be always in the good mood and they are always enjoying life. They never seem to be offended with anything. They’re naturally sweet and kind. You rarely see them get pissed off. They always have a smile plastered on their face.
When you meet guys who has the above five distinguishing character, then most likely, you’ve met the guy who would make you fall but will never catch you. They will never promise anything. But they do things that just makes you fall for them anyway.
These guys are the kind who never promises anything but says everything you hope to hear. They’re the kind who makes you feel everything that you are anticipating to feel. They are the kind who does everything that you’re expecting to see.
Most of the time they don’t fail your expectations. In fact, sometimes, they do beyond what you’ve imagined from them to do. But you have never been, are, and never will be together. He’s just nice, not just to you but to everyone else. He’s just naturally sweet and charming.
But here you are, expecting; a hopeful girl wishing she’d be noticed by this very charming guy. And yes, you can blame yourself for feeling those things but these are unavoidable. It comes off naturally from you. Girls are inclined to be emotional thus having that tendency to fall easily, deeply and readily.
Yet what makes all of these still being a positive thing is that you get inspired. The feelings you harbor make you happy. They make you happy. And despite the negative notions for this matter, I believe that things that makes people happy and alive are good. Sometimes, we just need a little bit of those things in life to make our existence here in this world just a little bit brighter.